Monday, December 21, 2009

old school .....

We've been going swimming at the local pool late in the afternoon. Two days ago we ran into a lovely girl that used to go to all Stylish's parties and whatnot. They swapped numbers and email addresses, so hopefully they'll catch up for a play soon.

Then today we went to the pool again and ran into a different child. She told Stylish that one of the girls they used to play with is pregnant. She is 12yrs old and pregnant. Now, the truth is that we don't know if that's reality or not, but either way it's terrible. If it's not true, it's sad because kids are spreading such shocking rumours about each other, if it's true, well what more do I need to say.

One of the reasons I pulled my daughter out of school was to protect her from the trouble she was starting to get into. One day she and the girl from the pool, the one who is reportedly pregnant, and another girl left the school. They went to the pregnant girl's house, played at their neighbour's house (they climbed through a hole in the fence), were fed fried chicken from a well known source, and black fizzy drink from another well known source. The mother then told them it was the end of lunch and that they could go back to school if they wanted. My daughter did want to, and was caught by a teacher, re-entering the school.

The girl's were nearly suspended over this event. They were put on what the prison politely terms "withdrawal suspension" where they had to go to another classroom for two days. My daughter was sent to the classroom of one of the most ridiculously "strict" teachers in the school. He made her spend two days facing the back of the classroom and told her off for turning around at any stage. The girls were also banned from playing at recess and lunch and had to sit in a classroom in silence, writing out the school rules.

I pointed out the the principal that these girls were old enough to know the school rules already, and that perhaps the school would be better off to work out WHY they had broken them. But that's just how schools do things apparently, and those are the rules. The fact is that my daughter was happy to leave the playground because several of the boys were relentlessly teasing her ... and getting away with it. The boys in question were putting sexual letters in our letter box, and prank calling us until midnight on Saturday nights. And when I reported this to the school? they informed me that they couldn't do anything about it because it wasn't happening in school time, or on school property.

Personally I believe the parent who allowed the girls to play in THE NEIGHBOUR'S YARD and fed them CRAP should have been bloody well charged with something or another, because her actions were wildly inappropriate.

And furthermore, how schools can claim to deal with bullying "HEAD ON" bewilders me, but it's whole other topic, I just thought it was a question worth posing at this stage of my rant.

So that explains some of the reasons I removed my child from the institution. But I didn't "know" when I did it that it was the right decision, I made that decision on impulse when I was dealing with massive grief (I lost a son and a very close friend within 6 months). It was a knee jerk reaction to a very bad, untenable, position, but it turned out to be the best one I ever made for my kids! Interestingly enough, as the last 18 months have progressed I've thought of more and more reasons to un-school them! I realised that removing her from that particular school wouldn't fix the problem, because when you take a child who is bullied from one school and put them in another school .... the cycle of abuse and bullying continues. I figured she'd find the same old kids in the new school, just wearing a different uniform.

It makes me very sad to think of a 12yr old child in such an environment that she is sexually active already. This whole situation makes me brutally aware of how I can only save one child, and that child is my own. If I manage to do that then I can be glad, but I will always wonder what became of the other girls who left school one lunch hour and triggered our un-schooling journey .....


Anonymous said...
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Tinkr said...

That is truely scarey, Thank God you pulled her out when you did!
My DH had a similar experiance to your daughter.
He went to a very good Christian bording school and dropped out in year 10. He has just reconnected with his old friends and half of them got into drugs after he left, one of them was murdered by her drug dealing boyfriend and several others were pregnant before year 12. He was horified to find out that one of the teachers he had was charged with pedophlia, DH had been in his house many times. I am so grateful he left the institution when he did. We are both so much more determined to unschool now than ever!

Kez said...

It scares you to think of what they are exposed to day in and day out. At least this way they're home with us!

Kez said...

It scares you to think of what they are exposed to day in and day out. At least this way they're home with us!

Alice and Mother said...

haha! one comment is in another language, and one is repeated ... and here was I thinking I was interesting or something ROFL

but yes .... very scary stuff. I can't belive the changes in our lives since I pulled her out of prison, she's a changed child.